Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
