he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
