whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
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