my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
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naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
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And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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