Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
