Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
