I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Randomize
