i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
