my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
