My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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