alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Did you pee in the oven last night??
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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