There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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