im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
