The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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