So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
