it wasn't lemon gatorade
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
