I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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