I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
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