matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
