Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
smell my finger.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
