And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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