Someone shit on the floor
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize