I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I can't put those talents on a resume
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
