so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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