its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
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my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
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He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Just high enough for therapy.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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