I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
So apparently I’m into choking now
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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