Soap is not a condiment
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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