Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
