I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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