You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
