Can Purell be used as lube?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
