did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
