Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
