god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Randomize
