I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
