It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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