i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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