I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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