Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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