So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize
