You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
