We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
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