What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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