Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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