I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
