Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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