I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Randomize