it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
