R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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