D3 body, D1 cock
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
