babies were throwing up all over the place
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Ladies don't puke and tell
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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