we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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