Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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