He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
