And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
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It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
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Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying