his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.