My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
